Testing Tots Talents

There are two types of parents in the U.S. (I am restricting this analysis to our country because “helicopter parents” and “soccer moms” seem to be phenomena unique to the U.S.):

1) laissez-faire. Let the kids be kids, run amok, figure things out on their own, pursue what interests them, get dirty, etc.

2) over-involved. Sign the kids up for pee-wee whatever at 2, schedule every moment of the day, drive kids from activity to activity, obsessively compare one’s own child’s accomplishments to those of her peers.

Since this is a relatively recent dichotomy, it’ll be a few years before we see the relative impact of these forms of child-raising on overall ability to cope. And thrive.

But right now, there is more evidence that Parenting Strategy #2 is way off the deep end. Testing toddlers for sports aptitude. Genetic testing of toddlers for sports aptitude.

Holy moly.

I can see it now: “But, Billy, why didn’t you catch that ball? You are supposed to be good at football, we spent all that money testing your genes, didn’t we?” or “Sam will get a basketball scholarship, so we can buy this boat instead of saving for her college fund.” or “I don’t care if all your friends are on the swim team, you tested poorly for swimming so you can’t join.”

Fundamentally, my fellow citizens are dumb as rocks. They storm Wal-Marts before dawn, trampling employees as they rush to buy the latest thing that Madison Avenue has told them they need. They vote for W. — twice. They believe that we actually found WMDs in Iraq (though most of them can’t find Iraq itself on a world map).

While some of this ignorance can be attributed to the lunatic talking heads on radio and television, and some to the human propensity for believing something they hear repeatedly, a lot of the fault has to be placed at the feet, again, of the GOP and their war on public education. The gutting of federal funding for public schools and concurrent imposition of artificial measures of success and timelines for achieving those measures has produced a national education system in crisis. This is a self-fulfilling cycle – schools are unable to effectively educate, students graduate with a profound lack of critical thinking skills, and then they vote Republican because they can’t accurately assess the devastation that GOP policies will wreak on their lives – like, say, cratering retirement accounts; rising unemployment; lack of available credit for college loans (which, of course, further erodes their intellectual abilities).

Which brings me back to the toddlers whose genes are being scrutinized for potential athletic prowess. Yes, why don’t we pigeonhole these kids into a particular sport, rather than letting them explore their world, decide for themselves, learn that absolutes don’t exist, face a challenge. That will ensure a generation of critical thinkers who can plan for and work toward a future of this country that is not a myopic view of their bank account.