inappropriate topics

Drinks dreamed up at Family Night:

The Filthy Tranny

1 cocktail wiener
2 shots cheap vodka
maraschino cherries
mandarin oranges (from a can)

Place cocktail wiener in bottom of martini glass.
Pour in vodka.
Impale 2 cherries and 2 mandarin oranges on pink plastic stirrer,
garnish drink.

Drunken Scottish Schoolteacher

1 shot whiskey
1 black & tan (for male teachers)
1 Shandy (for female teachers)

Drop whiskey shot into drink glass.
Down the hatch!

The Church Lady

sherry
cigarette butt

Pour sherry into Welch’s jelly jar glass.
Garnish with cigarette butt.

(After previous FN conversations, not necessarily this one, Jasper told his mom:  “You guys were talking about some inappropriate things.”  Yes, indeedy, young fellow.  That’s what we do.)

Reprieve

The temperature rose to at least 71 degrees yesterday.  I spent most of the glorious day in cars and windowless buildings.

Beth & Casey were married in full blown Catholic splendor.  I kept worrying about Beth’s knees as she knelt in front of the altar for nearly an hour.  And about her 8 1/2 months pregnant bridesmaid with all the standing and sitting and standing and sitting required.

In all, we spent nearly 7 hours in activities wedding related.  But the best part was the 45 minutes in the Hilton bar, with Sara, Sean, Vicki, and then Rebecca and Rob, eating a mound of cheese cubes and drinking overpriced beverages.

I love my friends.

But it turns out I love my family more, when at about 7:00, after we’d eaten cake and listened to toasts, I realized that the place I most wanted to be was at home on my sofa, watching Johnny Depp movies and snuggling with cats and children.  So that’s where I went.

Put On Some Clothes

I am tired of pop stars performing in lingerie:

Beyonce

Katy Perry

Rihanna

Madonna

I won’t even provide a link to Lady Gaga, because that would just encourage her.

It’s not that I think these women’s vocal talents could stand on their own without a stage show.  They are OK singers, nothing spectacular (except Madonna who was once great but now just scary).  But the reliance on exposing as much flesh as possible in order to attract attention just seems desperate and insecure and pathetic.

They do live in La-La Land, so are probably unaware that the rest of society actually becomes embarrassed when parts of our undergarments are displayed to the world (OK, most of the rest of society, Monica Lewinsky and Girls Gone Wild aside).

So, Celebrities of the world, as the Fug Girls have so wisely said so many times:   “Look into pants.”