Hi everyone who loves Cindy: I’ve created this page for all of us to add our thoughts about Cindy and the place she holds in our hearts.
love, Karen
ps: If you have photos of Cindy you’d like to share, you can email those to me and I can post them here, too: kjbpod@yahoo.com
Cindy,
You’ve been in my thoughts every day for five years. Sorry it’s come to this. I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how important you’ve been to me, as a friend in college and in all these years since. You were a big reason I moved to Boston, where I ended up settling and meeting Wendy, and thus having Henry and Parker… where would I be but for you? Know that you’re loved and are in our thoughts always. I don’t know how to offer comfort in this time, but in this crazy wild mixed up ride of life you are a good one, and if the big man upstairs has a table waiting for us please save me a place, I want to sit next to you. Please be at peace my friend, you’ve done good. — Garrett Swearingen
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about community. For a long time I have felt fortunate to be a member of one of Cindy’s multiple communities. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially grateful. But the meaning of that word has changed for me over the last week and a half. It’s expanding. . . This collective (connective?) love/grief. It’s a beautiful thing. Just like Cindy.
A lot of you probably know this story, but it bears repeating.
About 7 or 8 years ago, Erik & Cindy invited us over for dinner, or we invited them over, it doesn’t matter. The following week, the roles, whichever they were, were reversed. Then again about a week later. At which point it occurred to us that perhaps we should just have a standing “back & forth” dinner date. At the time, we were convening on Friday nights. For a while that remained the pattern. Then we determined that we were all generally too wiped out by Friday night to be good hosts/guests. So began the tradition of “snatching the weekend from the jaws of Monday.”
These dinners were called by the kids “Monday Nights” and we were collectively the “Monday Nighters.” Later, who knows when or by whom, it became “Family Night” and we were collectively a family. That might have been around the time that Lesly & David and kids joined the mix (they had to be talked into it – can you imagine??!).
Since then, we have had, regular as clockwork, dinner with each other, or a subset of each other, vacation schedules dictating, every Monday night.
This has become the high point of my week. Well, really, of my life. I briefly considered a job in Saratoga Springs, but decided that I couldn’t leave Family Night.
It was at a Family Night at our house, I think in spring, that Cindy told us of her initial diagnosis. How many years ago now? I can’t even recall. It feels like a lifetime but also just an instant since that day.
I can still remember back during those initial dinner dates, before we formalized the arrangement, being so happy and honored in the dinner invitations. It almost made me giddy that this intelligent, passionate, stylish woman was becoming a good friend.
In the past months, it has become abundantly clear that Cindy collects friends of the highest caliber. Every one of you that I have met through Cindy has inspired the thought “Oh – if I’d met her/him separately I would have immediately wanted to get to know them better!”
So, you are all on alert that when we need SCABS for Family Night (we do bring in ringers on occasion, and have been known to add in folks here and there), you’re on the short list!
Cindy and I worked together at Neptune Mountaineering in Boulder back in 1989, 1990. She had been climbing a little longer than I had, and I was very eager. I remember she asked if I wanted to go with her some time, and I was so pleased that someone so capable would ask me to go (The ‘I’m not worthy!’ statement comes to mind).
We did a few climbs in Eldorado Canyon together. I think she and I both went with Gary Neptune a few times. (If you don’t know Gary – he is the quintessential successful mountaineer/climber/owner of his shop/well-traveled/(used to be) bachelor/taking all the pretty, younger girls on climbs kinda guy)…
So, it was just like Gary to talk about the gals who worked in his shop – in a good way. His comment about Cindy was that “She has great legs!” I thought to myself, yes, she does, darn it!
So the best memory I have of spending some quality time with Cindy was when we went to Turkey Rock together, by the South Platte granite climbing area in Colorado. We got there, as it was getting dark. So Cindy whipped out her tent and I think I barely helped to set it up. It got really cold that night. I remember I was freezing in my new 20 degree bag. Cindy asked how I slept. I said OK, except I was FREEZING! She was fine. No complaints. Typical Cindy.
The next day we went to climb Turkey Rock, where there are several cracks and face climbs 1 to 2 pitches long. We were both eager, but not as experienced as this chick named Jade, who was running up these cracks. We both stood in admiration of this fit, experienced climber. I think it inspired us both to climb our hardest that day. After Cindy did a climb, I would lower her down and she would have a big smile on her face and say something like, “That was fun, a little wierd near the top. You won’t have any problem.” I would go up with a lump in my throat. She had a great attitude; she was very graceful, calm and patient.
I’m not a writer and don’t have any punch lines, but as I’m writing this it brings back more memories, like the time she and I climbed Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. We wanted to do a certain climb, but there were people on it. So, on this hot, summer morning, we got on a climb called “El Diablo.” We climbed ‘The Devil’ in the morning, facing East in the middle of summer. It was soooo hot! Cindy was not a complainer. So, I tried not to complain. My black rubber soles on my shoes felt like they were melting onto my feet. Cindy was leading, I was belaying. Then I climbed up to her – both of us sweaty. I think I said, “Oh my gosh it’s hot. I’m dying!”
She said, “Let’s go down.” So, we bailed. I was so glad she offered to go down. I still think she did it for me, not her.
I got to meet Erik and climb with both of them in the Black Hills in the summer of 1997. That was the last time I saw Cindy. I got Christmas cards for at least a few years after that. And I am sad that we did not stay in better touch. I am happy for all of you who knew Cindy and admire those of you who made more of an effort to stay in touch with her. I know she reached out and as a result, she has made many great friends.
With much Love to her family and friends-
Heidi
cindy was really really pretty