Scene: Willalby’s diner, mid-day Sunday. Participants: Egon, Shara, me, waiter (sole front of house staff).
We are discussing various bodily alterations, the necessity thereof and payment therefor. Shara is planning her third tattoo (she has one, but the second is being handed over to our tattooist, for him to do whatever he wants).
Egon: You’re paying for this, right mom?
Me: No. I’ll pay for necessities, like food and underwear, but body alterations are a personal lifestyle choice and thus paid for by you.
Shara: I do need new bras.
Me: OK, I’ll buy you those.
Waiter: Wearing underwear is a personal lifestyle choice. I’m not wearing any.
Me: Good point. OK, I won’t pay for underwear. Just food and shelter.
Waiter: I am wearing longjohns.
Shara: That’s a lifestyle choice!
Waiter & Me, nearly simultaneously: Not in Wisconsin in December – it’s a necessity!